How to Get Your Boyfriend to Propose
As women, we often over-think and over-analyze and plan our lives to the minute. If we don’t get a degree, have a career, find the right person, get married, buy a house, get pregnant, have children, and find wealth and happiness all according to our desired timeline, each step we “miss” can feel like a massive failure. I know. I’m one of those over-analyzing women.
I have a friend who wants to be engaged to her boyfriend. He’s really great: funny, sweet, kind, and adores her. He just hasn’t proposed yet and my friend is really hoping it happens soon. (No, the “friend” is not me!) To make light of the situation, we partnered up to bring you this half-serious, half-humorous take on how to get your boyfriend to propose. Don’t worry… we ran it by our Man Council for additional advice. These tips are Man Council Approved.
How to Get Your Boyfriend to Propose:
- Be the kind of person someone would want to marry. Be interesting. Work hard. Travel, value experiences, and try new things. Doing this solo will give you something to talk about; doing this together will strengthen your relationship.
- Communicate. Communicate openly about what marriage means to you, how you feel about it, what you hope to get from your marriage, and if you have a timeline. The goal is to know how your partner feels and hopefully get on the same page. Us ladies often need your help quieting the ticking of the biological clock and you men out there need our help not getting too comfortable and also remembering that a wedding requires money (as in, you have to actually save up for a ring and wedding day and honeymoon and all that fun/”fun” stuff).
- After communicating, stop talking about getting engaged. Seriously. Just stop. At least for a while. There’s nothing more anti-sexy than being nagged about engagement. And yes, men do see this as nagging. You will inevitably get the opposite reaction you are looking for (waiting longer! or no engagement at all!)
- Speak their Love Language. If your man feels loved, he’ll be much more likely to feel comfortable moving your relationship forward.
- Ask yourself why you want to be engaged so badly. Keep asking yourself why, why, why, until you get to the deep psychological reasons. Maybe you feel insecure because everyone around you is getting married, maybe you just need that honeymoon really badly, or maybe you’re feeling disconnected from your significant other. Maybe you legitimately love them and are ready to commit. When you have your reason, (see #2!) communicate with your boyfriend and see if you’re on the same page. It’s possible you’re not, and that’s something you’ll need to address.
- Ask yourself: what’s in it for him? You clearly think he’s a catch, but what makes you marriage material? Make sure you’re contributing enough value to the relationship and to his life that he has “proof” of your marriage-worthiness.
- Be loving and supportive of their hobbies, their friendships, and of them. No one wants to marry Debbie Downer or Constance Controlling.
J-slice offered an alternative suggestion: knock out your boyfriend (or get him drunk) and when he wakes up, tell him he proposed and just doesn’t remember. That gem is brought to you by the mind of an 11-year-old boy. Note: this method is not approved by our Man Council. Or our legal team.
Additional Advice From the Man Council:
If your boyfriend seems to not be ready, it’s probably good to find out why. I’m serious about this: engagement might not have occurred to him. Or it could be something deeper, like they want to be in a different (read: better) place in their life so that they feel able to properly love and take care of you.
On the flip side, if your boyfriend is ready and asks you for help picking out a ring or guidance on the style of proposal you prefer, don’t act like they should already know that. (Turn off!) They might already know, it’s true, but they just want to make 110% sure that you’re happy.
If your man hasn’t proposed yet, what methods have you tried that clearly didn’t work? If you’re already engaged or married, what tips do you have for the non-engaged ladies? How do you get a man to put a ring on it? If you’re a man reading, please join the Man Council and chime in!